Nov 25
From me to me
I am feeling a bit confused today and wrote some lyrics. I may get my guitar or keyboards out, turn into a song and record it, or I might just leave as poem.
It’s about my own submissiveness. Although I don’t expect many people to understand its just how i’m feeling at this very moment, and you know,… this is my unsecret world, “my party and I’ll cry if I want to”, and i feel better now so there!
Said Goodbye to a Friend
Said goodbye to a friend
Don’t know her name
Said goodbye to familiar
Time to replace
Time to move on, try another dice
Said goodbye to a friend
So why am I crying?
You fed me my drug
I held out my hands
You cured all my hunger
Helped me understand
Needed a fix, that you couldn’t give me
Said goodbye to a friend
But she still lives with me
My fears are like scars
Leaving a trace
Can’t cope with abstinence
Tears on my face
I carry a load that I want to hide
Said goodbye to a friend
She’s still inside
November 27th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
Dear Emma
I found this poem very touching, and whilst I am sure you wrote it looking in, I read it with the news fresh in my mind that a one time play partner of mine has seemingly disappeared off the face of the world. I want her back, but have no idea were to look, but she will stay in my mind for ever.
November 27th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Thanks Ian.
I in turn have just read your lovely comment and am equally touched and moved that you can openly share your feelings for her. Even though she may have been a play partner, love and care can exist in that too. This was something I didn’t realise until recently so I hope you get the chance to tell her yourself one day.
with love and big hugs for your kind words to both of us
Emma
xx
November 29th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Hi Emma,
Sorry, I didn’t see it until a minute ago - it’s very beaufiful, and quite painful to read (never mind write).
Love you to bits, and I’m counting down the days.
Marco
XXXX
November 29th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Hi Marco
This is my unsecret corner and although I’m meant to be writing about you from time to time, seeing you’re in beautiful pain from my poem (lol) I will write too you just this once!
I don’t think a lot of people really got my poem and what it meant to me. Maybe that’s a good thing because people see in it and take away from it what they want to, and relate it to their own experiences a bit like looking at a piece of art. It is more about my coping with a new situation and having to relax my submissiveness due to circumstances. It was written in a moment of weakness and I don’t feel that way every day but just wanted to play it back to myself.
On the subject of poetry I’m getting into Philip Larkin at last after my dear friend bought me his ‘Collected Poems’ book last Christmas. One of his poems ‘Born Yesterday’ sort of says what you’ve told me many times and I’m so grateful you’re giving me a “catching of happiness”. As Mr Larkin also says, I am a “lucky girl” and the difference is that you love me for myself and my “average of talents”
http://brucestone.wikispaces.com/Philip+Larkin+poems#bornyesterday
Love
Emma
xxxx
PS: Back to spanking now or my readers will become comatose with this (hopefully) rare moment of slush and morosity (haha!)
December 1st, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Thank you very much for your comments, I am glad you share my views on friendships with play partners. It always shocks me if I heard about people who play without any building any closeness with their partners. The hardest thing at the moment is trying not to get angry over the fact that she just went without saying a word. I know there is always a chance that she did not have a choice, and I do not want to be mad with her only at some point in the future to learn something terrible happened to her. But my emotions are still very raw and I feel a great deal of loss. Sorry to unburden myself at you, you do not have to permit this post, as it a bit of a downer. All the best IanG
December 1st, 2009 at 7:45 pm
You haven’t unburdened yourself at all, I totally feel your loss. It hasn’t happened to me yet but I know that I would feel exactly the same if someone walked away from me who I knew was totally right as my partner, in play or otherwise. The not knowing would hurt and eat away at me, and to think they would then be sharing what we had elsewhere would hurt and I would ache for ages. All of this and the way we think is a common bond, it makes us what we are so thanks for sharing. I hope you can eventually replace the memory with many more new and equal ones soon.
Emma
xx